The 28 minute trip to a Casino
Cast: Amanda, Security, Guy and Me
Security: ‘Hello ladies. Welcome. Check your bags please. You over the age of 18?’
Us.‘Hello! Of course we’re over 18! What do you think?! Ha! Actually we take that back. No!’
Security laugh: ‘Have a nice evening’
Up the escalators, into Casino. Don’t know what we were expecting, but it was NO ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ vibe. Both happy we were not dressed up for this short visit.
A sweeping tour of the place is made around all. The Black Jack and Roulette tables were tightly guarded and packed with everyday folk, and the ‘sci-fi’ slot machines, no more arm pull versions. We arrive to stand in the middle.
Me: ‘This is weird. We look like a couple of nana’s. We know Black Jack but what’s Baccarat? Don’t know how to play these other games! I don’t even understand the slot machines. What’d we do?’
Amanda: ‘Yeah! Me too. Let’s change our money into coins and see’
We queue up at the cash desk, get to the counter and are told that we have to slot our £10 (Our set limit) into the slot machine or place on any table we wanted to play. On the machines whatever we didn’t use or win, to press the ‘cash out button’ and would be given a paper slip or on the table ‘Chips’. Then when ready go back to cash desk to revert into money or continuing using on the games.
Us: ‘Oh!, Thanks.’ The pair of Muppets walk off. Amanda states that she had once played a fake game of roulette and kept winning but didn’t think it would happen with real money. Inspired we head off to roulette table. Could we get on to place a £1 bet? NO! We get quick over the shoulder looks and the bodies move more tighter together and they are back to business. I ask a guy who just left the table how to play, his space taken in 2 seconds. He told. Amanda understood. Me, it went straight over my head.
Me to the Guy: ‘So did you win?’
Guy: ‘Yeah. Bet £50 and won £270’
Us: ‘Wow! That’s great’
Guy: ‘That’s nothing! My mate over there in the black T-shirt is up £700 on his £50 stake’
Us: ‘Bloody hell’ Eyes really saying lucky sod!
We decide to try one of the numerous unfamiliar slot machines with minimum 50p bets. Amanda finds a £1 coin. I have my tenner. No change. We insert our money.
Us: ‘What the hell! What you press?’
I press 15p spread. I press my button. Lights flash. Rollers, roll. I get a banana, lemon, and 2 other inanimate objects. it stops. I press 3 more times with 3 more various results. I happen to see my tenner had dwindled down to £5.20. Amanda’s dwindles down to 30p
Me: ‘Oh hell no! Where’s my money going? I don’t know what’s happening. I’m cashing out’
Laughing we cash out our paper credit slips, I get my remaining in genuine currency, Amanda decides to leave her 30p slip there and we head out with lacklustre.
Security: Wow that was quick? Not even half an hour!’
To their laughter we relay our sorry event.
Security: ‘You know, they do provide lessons here’
Us: ‘Didn’t think of that. Anyway the vibe was not that great. Maybe today just wasn’t the day’
Next we hear a big roar of from upstairs and the security guard places his hand to his ear piece to listen.
His next sentence to us was…
Security: ‘That’s a shame ladies. You could have followed the guy upstairs who just placed a £300 bet on 1 number and won £11,000.00. Never mind’